Treasure what you have...

Something i read on the net....good lesson.

On my wedding day, I carried my wife in my arms. The bridal car stopped in front of our one-room flat. My buddies insisted that I carry her out of the car in my arms. So I carried her into our home. She was then plump and shy. I was a strong and happy bridegroom.

This was the scene of ten years ago. The following days were as simple as a cup of pure water: we had a kid, I went into business and tried to make more money. When the assets were steadily increasing, the affections between us seemed to ebb.

She was a civil servant. Every morning we left home together and got home almost at the same time. Our kid was studying in a boarding school. Our marriage life seemed to be enviably happy. But the calm life was more likely to be affected by unpredictable changes. Dew, a young girl, came into my life.

It was a sunny day. I stood on a spacious balcony. Dew hugged me from behind. My heart once again was immersed in her stream of love. This was the apartment I bought for her. Dew said, "You are the kind of man who best draws girls' eyeballs. Her words suddenly reminded me of my wife. When we just married, my wife said, "Men like you, once successful, will be very attractive to girls.

" Thinking of this, I became somewhat hesitant. I knew I had betrayed my wife. But I couldn't help doing so. I moved Dew's hands aside and said," You go to select some furniture, O.K.? I've got something to do in the company." Obviously she was unhappy, because I had promised her to go and see with her.

At the moment, the idea of divorce became clearer in my mind although it used to be something impossible to me. However, I found it rather difficult to tell my wife about it. No matter how mildly I mentioned it to her, she would be deeply hurt. Honestly, she was a good wife.

One evening she was busy preparing dinner. I was sitting in front of the TV. The dinner was ready soon. Then we watched TV together. Or, I was lounging before the computer, visualizing Dew's body. This was the means of my entertainment. One day I said to her in a slight joking way, "Suppose we divorce, what will you do?" She stared at me for a few seconds without a word. Apparently she believed that 'divorce' was something too far away from her.

I couldn't imagine how she would react once she got to know I was serious. When my wife went to my office, Dew had just stepped out. Almost all the staff looked at my wife with a sympathetic eye and tried to hide something while talking with her. She seemed to have got some hint. She gently smiled at my subordinates. But I read some hurt in her eyes.

Once again, Dew said to me, "He Ning(My Name), divorce her, O.K.? Then we live together." I nodded. I knew I could not hesitate any more. When my wife served the last dish, I held her hand. "I've got something to tell you," I said. She sat down and ate quietly. Again I observed the hurt in her eyes. Suddenly I didn't know how to open my mouth...it was heavy, too heavy for even the strongest man to bear. But I had to let her know what I was thinking.

"I want to divorce." I raised a serious topic calmly. She didn't seem to be much annoyed by my words, instead she asked me softly, "why?". "I'm serious." I avoided her question. This so-called answer turned her angry. She threw away the chopsticks and shouted at me, "you are not a man!".

At that night, we didn't talk to each other. She was weeping. I knew she wanted to find out what had happened to our marriage. But I could hardly give her a satisfactory answer, because my heart had gone to Dew. With a deep sense of guilt, I drafted a divorce agreement which stated that she could own our house, our car, and 30% stake of my company. She glanced at it and then tore it into pieces. I felt a pain in my heart. The woman who had been living ten years with me would become a stranger one day. But I could not take back what I had said.

Finally she cried loudly in front of me, which was what I had expected to see. To me her cry was actually a kind of release. The idea of divorce which had obsessed me for several weeks seemed to be firmer and clearer. A late night, I came back home after entertaining my clients. I saw her writing something at the table but i was too tired. I fell asleep fast. When I woke up, I found she was still there. I turned over and was asleep again.

It seems that she has brought up her divorce conditions: she didn't want anything from me, but I was supposed to give her one month's time before divorce, and in the month's time we must live as normal life as possible. Her reason was simple: our son would finish his summer vacation a month later and she didn't want him to see our marriage was broken. She passed me the agreement she drafted, and then asked me, "He Ning, do you still remember how I entered our bridal room on the wedding day?"

This question suddenly brought back all those wonderful memories to me. I nodded and said, "I remember". "You carried me in your arms", she continued, "so, I have a requirement, that is, you carry me out in your arms on the day when we divorce. From now to the end of this month, you must carry me out from the bedroom to the door every morning." I accepted with a smile. I knew she missed those sweet days and wished to end her marriage with a romantic form.

I told Dew about my wife's divorce conditions. She laughed loudly and thought it was absurd. "No matter what tricks she does, she still has to face the result of a divorce," she said scornfully. Her words more or less made me feel uncomfortable. My wife and I hadn't had any body contact since my divorce intention was explicitly expressed. We even treated each other as a stranger. So when I carried her out for the first day, we both appeared clumsy. Our son clapped behind us, "daddy is holding mummy in his arms." His words brought me a sense of pain. From the bedroom to the sitting room, then to the door, I walked over ten meters with her in my arms. She closed her eyes and said softly, "Let us start from today, don't tell our son." I nodded, feeling somewhat upset. I put her down outside the door.

She went to wait for bus, I drove to office. On the second day, both of us acted much more easily. She leaned on my chest. We were so close that I could smell the fragrance of her blouse. I realized that I hadn't looked at this intimate woman carefully for a long time. I found she was not young any more. There were some fine wrinkles on her face. On the third day, she whispered to me, "The outside garden is being demolished. Be careful when you pass there." On the fourth day, when I lifted her up, I seemed to feel that we were still an intimate couple >and I was holding my sweetheart in my arms. The visualization of Dew became vaguer.

On the fifth and sixth day, she kept reminding me something, such as, where she put the ironed shirts, I should be careful while cooking, etc. I nodded. The sense of intimacy was even stronger. I didn't tell Dew about this. I felt it was easier to carry her. Perhaps the everyday workout made me stronger. I said to her, "It seems not difficult to carry you now." She was picking her dresses. I was waiting to carry her out. She tried quite a few but could not find a suitable one. Then she sighed, "All my dresses have grown fatter."

I smiled. But I suddenly realized that it was because she was thinner that I could carry her more easily, not because I was stronger. I knew she had buried all the bitterness in her heart. Again, I felt a sense of pain. Subconsciously I reached out a hand to touch her head. Our son came in at the moment. "Dad, it's time to carry mum out." He said. To him, seeing his father carrying his mother out had been an essential part of his life. She gestured our son to come closer and hugged him tightly. It was a mother's love, so pure and painful at the same time.

I turned my face because I was afraid I would change my mind at the last minute. I held her in my arms, walking from the bedroom, through the sitting room, to the hallway. Her hand surrounded my neck softly and naturally. I held her body tightly, as if we came back to our wedding day. But her much lighter weight made me sad. On the last day, when I held her in my arms I could hardly move a step. Our son had gone to school.

She said softly, "Actually I hope you will hold me in your arms until we are old."I held her tightly and said, "Both you and I didn't notice that our life was lack of such intimacy." I jumped out of the car swiftly without locking the door. I was afraid any delay would make me change my decision. I walked upstairs. Dew opened the door. I said to her hastily, "Sorry, Dew, I won't divorce. I'm serious." " She meant to me more than i realise...."

She looked at me, astonished. The she touched my forehead. "You got no fever." She said. I moved her hand off my head. "Sorry, Dew," I said, "I can only say sorry to you, I won't divorce. My marriage life was boring probably because she and I didn't value the details of life, not because we didn't love each other any more. Now I understand that since I carried her into the home, she gave birth to our child, I am supposed to hold her until I am old. So I have to say sorry to you."

Dew seemed to suddenly wake up. She gave me a loud slap and then slammed the door and burst into cry. I walked downstairs and drove to the office. When I passed the floral shop on the way, I ordered a bouquet for my wife which was her favorite. The salesgirl asked me to write the greeting words on the card. I smiled and wrote, "I'll carry you out every morning until we are old.

Love
Your Husband"

P/S To my missus, i love you very much!!! Thanks for the wonderful years we had together and hopepully many more to come. I will see to that personally!

BOSAN DGN KEHIDUPAN INI

Seorang pemuda datang mengunjungi gurunya lalu mengatakan,

"Guru, saya sudah bosan hidup. Sudah jenuh betul. Rumahtangga saya

porak peranda. Usaha saya tak menjadi. Apapun yang saya lakukan

selalu berantakan. Saya ingin mati."

Guru dengan tersenyum berkata, "Oh, kamu sakit."

"Tidak Guru, saya tidak sakit. Saya sihat. Hanya jenuh dengan

kehidupan. Itu sebabnya saya ingin mati."

Seolah-olah tidak mendengar pembelaannya, Guru meneruskan,

"Kamu sakit. Dan penyakitmu itu sebutannya, 'Alergik Hidup'. Ya,

kamu alergik terhadap kehidupan."

Banyak sekali di antara kita yang alergik terhadap kehidupan.

Kemudian, tanpa disedari kita melakukan perkara yang bertentangan

dengan norma kehidupan. Hidup ini berjalan terus. Sungai kehidupan

mengalir terus, tetapi kita menginginkan status-quo. Kita berhenti di

tempat, kita tidak ikut mengalir. Itu sebabnya kita jatuh sakit. Kita

mengundang penyakit. Resistensi kita, penolakan kita untuk ikut

mengalir bersama kehidupan membuat kita sakit.

Yang namanya usaha, pasti ada pasang surutnya. Dalam perkara

berumahtangga, pertengkaran-pertengkaran kecil itu memang wajar,

lumrah. Persahabatan pun tidak selalu selamanya, tidak abadi. Apa

kah yang selamanya, yang abadi dalam hidup ini?

Kita tidak menyedari sifat kehidupan. Kita ingin mempertahankan

suatu keadaan. Kemudian kita gagal, kecewa dan menderita.

"Penyakitmu itu dapat disembuhkan, asal kamu ingin sembuh dan

bersedia mengikuti petunjukku." demikian ujar pak guru.

"Tidak guru, tidak. Saya sudah betul-betul jenuh. Tidak, saya tidak

ingin hidup." pemuda itu menolak tawaran pak guru.

"Jadi kamu tidak ingin sembuh. Kamu betul-betul ingin mati?"


"Ya, memang saya sudah bosan hidup."

"Baik, besok petang kamu akan mati. Ambillah botol obat ini.

Setengah botol diminum malam ini, setengah botol lagi di minum esok

jam enam petang dan jam delapan malam kau akan mati dengan

tenang."


Giliran dia menjadi bingung. Setiap guru yang dia datangi selama ini

selalu berupaya untuk memberikannya semangat untuk hidup. Yang

satu ini aneh. Ia bahkan menawarkan racun. Tetapi, kerana dia

memang sudah betul-betul jenuh, dia menerimanya dengan senang

hati. Pulang kerumah, dia langsung menghabiskan setengah botol

racun yang disebut "obat" oleh guru tadi. Dan, dia merasakan

ketenangan sebagaimana tidak pernah dia rasakan sebelumnya.

Begitu rileks, begitu tenang! Tinggal 1 malam, 1 hari, dan dia akan

mati. Dia akan bebas dari segala macam masalah. Malam itu, dia

memutuskan untuk makan malam bersama keluarga di sebuah restoran.

Sesuatu yang sudah tidak pernah dia lakukan sejak beberapa tahun

kebelakangan ini.

Oleh kerana ini adalah malam terakhir, dia ingin meninggalkan sebuah

kenangan manis. Sambil makan, dia bersenda gurau. Suasananya

amat mendamaikan! Sebelum tidur, dia mengucup bibir isterinya dan

membisik di telinganya, "Sayang, aku mencintaimu."

Kerana malam ini adalah malam terakhir, dia ingin meninggalkan

sebuah kenangan manis!

Esoknya; bangun tidur dia membuka jendela bilik dan melihat ke luar.

Tiupan angin pagi menyegarkan tubuhnya. Dan dia tergoda untuk

melakukan jalan pagi. Pulang kerumah setengah jam kemudian, dia

menemukan isterinya masih tertidur. Tanpa membangunkannya, dia

masuk ke dapur dan membuat 2 cawan kopi. Satu untuk dirinya, satu

lagi untuk isterinya. Kerana pagi itu adalah pagi terakhir, dia ingin

meninggalkan kenangan sebuah manis!

Isterinya yang merasakan sesuatu kelainan, berkata dalam hati

"Selama ini, mungkin aku salah. Maafkan aku, sayang."

Di pejabat, dia menyapa setiap orang, bersalaman dengan setiap

orang. Pekerjanya menjadi bingung, "Hari ini, Boss kita ganjil ya?"

Dan sikap mereka pun langsung berubah. Mereka pun menjadi lembut.

Kerana siang itu adalah siang terakhir, dia ingin meninggalkan sebuah

kenangan manis!

Tiba-tiba, segala sesuatu di sekitarnya berubah. Dia menjadi ramah

dan lebih toleran, bahkan apresiatif terhadap pendapat-pendapat

yang berbeza. Tiba-tiba hidup menjadi indah. Dia mula menikmatinya.


Pulang kerumah jam 5 petang, dia menemukan isteri tercinta

menungguinya di beranda depan. Kali ini justeru isteri yang

memberikan ciuman kepadanya sambil berkata,

"Abang, sekali lagi saya minta maaf, kalau selama ini saya selalu

menyusahkan abang."

Anak-anak pun tidak ingin ketinggalan, "Ayah, maafkan kami semua.
Selama ini, ayah selalu stress kerana perilaku kami."

Tiba-tiba, sungai kehidupannya mengalir kembali.

Tiba-tiba, hidup menjadi sangat indah.

Dia membatalkan niatnya untuk membunuh diri.
Tetapi bagaimana dengan setengah botol yang sudah dia minum, petang semalam?

Dia pergi bertemu dengan gurunya lagi.

Apabila melihat raut wajah pemuda itu, rupanya guru langsung

mengetahui apa yang telah terjadi,

"Buang sahaja botol itu. Isinya air biasa. Kau sudah sembuh, Apabila

kau hidup dalam kekinian, apabila kau hidup dengan kesedaran

bahawa maut dapat menjemputmu bila-bila sahaja, maka kau akan

menikmati setiap detik kehidupan. Leburkan egomu, keangkuhanmu,

kesombonganmu. Jadilah lembut, selembut air. Dan mengalirlah

bersama sungai kehidupan. Kau tidak akan jenuh, tidak akan bosan.

Kau akan merasa hidup. Itulah rahsia kehidupan. Itulah kunci

kebahagiaan. Itulah jalan menuju ketenangan."

Dia mengucapkan terima kasih dan bersalaman dengan guru, lalu

pulang ke rumah, untuk mengulangi pengalaman malam sebelumnya.

Konon, dia masih mengalir terus.

Dia tidak pernah lupa hidup dalam kekinian. Itulah sebabnya, dia

selalu bahagia, selalu tenang, selalu HIDUP!

Hidup bukanlah merupakan suatu beban yang harus dipikul, tapi

merupakan suatu anugerah untuk dinikmati

Ya Allah, bukakanlah ke atas kami hikmatMu
dan limpahilah ke atas kami khazanah rahmatMu,
wahai Tuhan Yang Maha Pemurah lagi Maha Penyayang.
Wahai Tuhanku, tambahkanlah ilmuku dan luaskanlah kefahamanku.
Wahai Tuhanku, lapangkanlah dadaku dan mudahkanlah urusanku

2005 and counting....

Somehow December hasnt been the best month for me.

First, i lost my wallet due to some memory lapse. This is another word of saying i am an idiot.
The trouble that i had to endure with one stupidity was tedious and time consuming.

Then the trouble at work..where suddenly late request came in like a flood in Halo 2. Believe me la kan..when all are chasing the govt. dateline to submit invoice or deliver goods, peh ...talk about crisis management la kan.

Then the final curtain of 2004 was a bit of misunderstanding with the missus. Man...this time it was ugly. To make it even worse it is practically about nothing but it was a mistake on my part nonetheless. So enough said...i did two stupid things in December. Do i regret it?

What to regret? Things has been set in motion...and cant be turned back. I just had to soldiered on and take whatever flak that is directed at me. Remorse? I personally felt that i did it out of spite and somehow i got punished. Imagine all of the things that we do life out of spite will get punished? Rather than not live at all....for we will get walloped almost everything.

Things has been said and i has also said my peace.

I cant do more than what is required. It is not like i committed rape or murder in some nice apartment with GROs or anything. I probably did worse....i betrayed a trust.

Now that is something will take time to heal.

Guess i need to see some Bomoh or dukun soon huh?? heh..heh..heh

Kita jangan menyampuk!!

Suatu hari di KLCC

Satu hari ketika baru saja tiba dr kuantan, aku singgah sekejap di KLCC.Aku ada something utk dibeli. Ketika aku sedang melihat brg dikedai,tiba-tiba perut aku terasa memulas.Apalagi aku pun terus bergegas ke tandas kat level satu.Masuk saja kat situ,aku tengok ada 3 bilik air.Satu tu bertutup,so aku pegi yg disebelahnya.

Baru saja aku duduk,aku terdengar suara dari sebelah

"Haa,camna sekarang ?"

Aku pun bukan suka nak berbual ngan org yg aku tak kenal kat tandas tu.Ntah camna, akhirnya akubalas juga

"Ok gak ler"

Kemudian suara tu bertanya lagi "Ko nak gi mana ni??"

Iskk..Aku mula rasa musykil skit..tapi aku kata "Aku nak balik,singgah sini nak beli brg sikit"

Lepas suara tu bertanya lagi "Bila ko nak gerak ni??" Aku selamba jer kata. 'Lepas aku sudah ni,abis beli aku chow la".

Kemudian aku terdengar lagi suara org sebelah tu berkata

"Hei,aku call balik ko lepas nilah,tiap kali aku tanya soalan kat ko, mamat bodoh sebelah aku ni asyik jawap jer!!!

Moral: jangan menyampuk time orang bercakap...

A year to reflect upon....

Time flies....

Time really flies....

Seriously, it is not like the flight of some kite....it is more like a Boeing 7E7 cutting across the skies.

What was my biggest milestone in 2004?

1) In 2004, i left my company which i have served since 1998. I have been there for 6 years long....guess that is why i made that change. I was there when the company was only 30+ strong.....and when i left it was 150+ strong. Before i joined as part of the finance team, the company never fails to pay bonuses to their staff and we expanded more than threefold.

I thought i was set for the good life until one conversation with my office colleague,changed everything. I realised that i have been there too long...and made serious effort to leave. True enough...i left in March 15, 2004.

And i am with my new company since...it has been more than 9 months then.

What else?

2) I started going back to school to do my Master. I thought it is not much for others but for me it was one of the biggest decision in my life. Why i did it??

Even now, i am not sure of what i am gunning for...the most common answer i gave is to go into the teaching profession. How true is that...i am not sure. May be i am tired of the office rambling and the politics that goes along with it....but even if go the univ. of colleges...the environment will still be the same.

Deep inside...may be i do want to be a teacher. I felt that i need to give back to society...i was a product of society as well as i went to get my first degree using public funds. (JPA)....it is not guilt or remorse that hack me to death in my belly, it is more a self awareness initiation and the need to ensure that Muslim Malays is not neglected. Or perhaps...i just wanted to see younger girls everyday...muahahahhahahahahhaahhah. Oooo perhaps...keh..keh.

3) I sold off my beloved Gilera DNA 180.

That was tough. I love the bike....we have been thru thick and thin together...we have beaten numerous RXZ and thuousands EX5. We lost occasionally to CBR Fireblade 1000 or Yamaha ZXR...but overall it was a win-win together. We soaked together....i fell from that motorcycle once....and i nearly got into an accident.

In the end, the bike grew tired of me and me of her. She refuses to do my bidding when i needed her the most...twice she broke down...and twice i nutured her back to full health. But it wasnt to be...i decided that we have irreconcilable differences. So we parted ways though i must say the love for her never dies one bit.

Apart from that, it is more subjective than an actual measurement of achievement or milestone.

May be you guys out there have been climbing mountains, safe drowning people, send your parents for a long holiday somewhere, umrah or haji, or even re-new your wedding vows, getting married o engaged. I know my ex-office colleague got engaged this year so i wished Cikgu Bedah Luck...You guys out there tell me...we can share our experiences...after all it will enrich our live even better.

Till then....think about what will be your milestone next year??

Cuti hujung tahun....

Still on holiday.....and writting at home.

Stayed late yesterday....watching Liverpool trashed MBA 5-0.

Was sheer class and hopefully better things to come in 2005. I sincerely believe that this team under Rafa Benetiz is going places la kan....watch out Man Utd, we are taking over your spot!!

Anyway, a shock to hear that a huge tsunami off the coast of Acheh killed some many thousands in one day, May Allah have mercy on those who has fallen. This is infact a true testamony that when nature turns, we are all affected. So appreciate what you have and take care of the environment! I know earthquake is a NATURAL disaster, so we have enough troubles as it is...so create new one like Global Warming and gree house effect. Nuff said.

Okay...need to hits the book, got a test in two weeks time. Need to be ready and polish. This semester somehow i am a bit lazy...donno la kan, perhaps i need a little boost in order for me to enjoy my time in class.

Perhaps..o perhaps.

How can we be lovers??

Had a hectic week, not kinna you wanna have every week.

Anyway, during the course of the week, a friend of mine confided about his problems. His story is like this...he used to be a couple with the office prettiest girl, i shall name F. F and S had been going steady for quite some time laa, though they dont announce they are an item ..everybody accepted that they are together laa. It is not like the couple who eat breakfast together, lunch together, dinner as well....work together2 as well. Man...that is just plain sucks.

They live and acted like there is nothing between them, which is not a suprise considering that being a couple at the same office may invited serious trouble. However, on some nite out, he will bring her as well. During our football matches, she will be there too....so it wasnt like the world greatest secret either....people who knew them, know about it ler.

So , during the six months they were together, bonds were strengthen..she told him what she wouldnt care to tell others and he is likewise. He is care-free and somehow very subtle in his tone and doesnt look like defending the turf that seriously. They spend time together at Bukit Tinggi, Langkawi etc with their friends and trusted circles ler. Hush-hush ler but suddenly after a period of cooling off, she breaks the relationship...citing he is not serious in the relationship and decided that she has found another that she felt can be relied upon. He was devastated at first and later when he confronted her, both admit that their relationship may not have an happy ending. She told him that he was afraid of making commitment and he told her that her past haunted him, shackling any further emotion that he might have towards her.

He confided in me on what to do...as usual i told any dilemma lovers to fight to the very end, at least he knows that he has tried his best. If it doesnt work out, it just wont...let her go. After long deliberation and tears, she wouldnt bulge from her initial decision to break. He accepted it and stated that they remain friends. Smiles all around.

Soon after 2 weeks, he is back to old self...chirpy and jovial. Getting along with his life...and i thought that was the end of it. But no.....hell has no fury like the wrath of a woman. As he walked pass her, he said "Hi". She turned from smile to ice tundra queen in an instant. She kept quite and " muncung empatbelas"(if there such a term).

He sat down with me...and asked why she is like that, after all both of us know that it was she who decided to break off. Must she acted like that? So being a good friend, i told him that send her an email, since talking straight may not be the right thing to do as she is refusing to even talk to him. So off with the email and lo and behold, she stated that she can longer acted like the old days. She can only talk on official duties only. Apart from that, no conversation will talk place. Alawei....how come ma? Though both agreed to be friends la kan...

I told him la kan...so beg what you didnt lose in the first place. May be she is not as happy in the new relationship and secretly blaming him for getting her into it. But he didnt forced her to do anything at all....she makes the cut!

May be i am biased for he is my friend, but since i know the whole story ..i know that he wasnt in the wrong. That is why i am wondering, can you ever be friends with your ex-girlfriend? Or ex-boyfriends?

Personally, i had a girlfriend once...her name was Ida. We were closed and still at high school. Two years and it didnt work out...i was send to a boarding school and she was in a Maahad. So distances make the decision. She was devastated that i make the call to break off but i thought i was being realistic.

We never met again until 4 years later after my SPM, i was working at the town top food attraction(mana ada khidmat negara masa tu beb...carik duit ada laa..)at nite and bump into her. We chatted and she still remembers me well. That day on...we still talk once in a while..trading stories of his BF and my GF and how to deal with it. She get married early and i attend her wedding as well. Then i was abroad and we lost contact.

Through chance, i lost my Maybank Credit Card and had to report it in 5 years later...and she was the receiving officer. We met again but on a different occasion and much nicer ler. get my credit card on time and once in awhile...get an email.

Not all of my ex are like this....there are some who even refuses to even acknowledge me...may be becoz of their BF who are fitter than me, but what the hell la kan. Persoalannya..kenapa perempuan berdendam sampai macam tuh....rational la sikit.

Hmm...entahlah....

Huk aloh...

Tersebutlah cerita yang dikatakan berlaku di sebuah pejabat Majlis Perbandaran di negeri utara pantai timur:

Kontraktor rumah : Ambo nak minta keluluse buak rumah, lagu mana caro?

Pegawai Bangunan : Lagu ni, mulo-mulo wat pele (pelan) dulu.

Kontraktor rumah : Pele? Ambo ado! Ambo bawak!

Pegawai bangunan : Mano, wak terbitla, kawe nak tengok.

Kontraktor rumah : Errrr! Tok leh! Tok Leh!

Pegawai Bangunan : Wak po tok lehnyo!, Lekaslo wak terbit!

Kontraktor rumah : Kalu tok tengok tok leh ko?

Pegawai Bangunan : Tok leh lo pasal kawe nak tengok, pas tu nak luluh kalu tak dok gapo-gapo hok langgar syarat.

Kontraktor rumah : Eh! Ambo ghoyak doh, ambo malu benar.

Pegawai Bangunan : Malu wak gaponyo!Pas tu bawok pele mari sajo?

Kontraktor rumah : Ehhh! malu nak ghoyak, pele ambo kecik!

Pegawai Bangunan : Laa! Kecik pun tak po, kalu cukup syarat! Kalu tak tunjuk, kawe nak sain luluh lagu mano?

Kontraktor rumah : Nak wak terbit tunjuk kat mano?, orghe ramai ni! Malu ambo! Malu weh!

Pegawai bangunan : La!, tak po! Nak malu gapo la demo!Wak terbit atas meja kaunter ni!Lekas la kawe ado kerjo lain lagi nih! Sibuk beno ni! Kena Fahe la!

Kontraktor rumah : Nah! Ambo wak terbit ni ha! Cepat la tengok!

Pegawai Bangunan : Laaa!(terkejut), buke pele ni!

Kontraktor rumah : Tu la!, ambo ghoyak doh tadi ke?Pele ambo kecik! Mu nok tengok jugak!

Pegawai Bangunan : Laaaaaa! Buke pasal kecik besonyo!, maksud kawe Pele Bangune (Pelan Bangunan).

Kontraktor rumah : La! Ambo ingak pele nie! Kalu pele bangune, ado lo dale beg nie! Tok ngoyak pun pele bangune!. Mano ambo tahu!

Pegawai Bangunan : Kawe ingak demo fahe! Hok dok mari doh pun dok penah jadi lagu nie! Dok mano demo?

Kontraktor rumah : Gua Muse!

Aku dan Telur rebus

CERITA LAWAK UNTUK HARI INI....

"TELUR REBUS PUNYA PASAL!!!"



Aku baru berkahwin setahun yang lepas dan duduk dengan isteri aku. Kami duduk berdua sahaja sebab belum dikurniakan anak. Aku ni ada satu kegemaran iaitu makan telur rebus. Aku pun taktahu kenapa aku suka makan telur rebus, sedap agaknya.

Sebelum aku kahwin, aku memang gila telur rebus. Pagi petang siang malam makan telur rebus. Tapi semenjak aku kahwin ni aku terpaksa berkorbanlah, iaitu dengan meninggalkan tabiat aku ini. Lama juga aku dah tak pekena telur rebus ni.. sebab orang rumah aku masak sedap-sedap.. so aku dah tak kisah lagilah..

Nak dijadikan cerita, bulan lepas masa aku balik kerja, tiba-tiba kereta aku rosak..akupun telefon bini aku katakan aku balik lambat sebab kena menapak. Sebab lapar akupun singgah satu kedai makan tu... ada telur rebus lah.. akupun makan nasi dengan telur rebus.. lepas tu aku order telur rebus lebih lagi untuk diratah.

Sebelum balik aku bungkus lagi 10 biji telur rebus untuk makan sambil berjalan balik nanti. Tiba je kat rumah aku rasa amatlah kenyang..maklumlah balas dendam sebab lama tak pekena telur rebus.

Sebelum aku masuk kerumah, isteri aku tiba-tiba cakap dia ada 'surprise' untuk aku
malam ni. Dia suruh aku tutup mata dengan kain hitam yang diikat kemas dibelakang kepalaku.

Dan dipimpinnya aku sampai ke meja makan. Aku duduk dikerusi dan isteriku pesan jangan cuba buka ikatan yang menutup mataku. Aku nak pergi toilet sebab perutku mula buat hal, tapi malaslah nak spoilkan 'surprise' isteriku ini.

Aku pun tahan ler... Tetiba telefon berbunyi, isteriku pergi mengangkatnya. Apa lagi
ada chance aku pun melepaskan kentut yang ditahan sekian lama.. Fuuuuhhh lega
rasanya...bau boleh tahan... maklumler berapa biji telur tah aku bedal tadi...

Alamak..
ada lagi satu la.. aku pun angkat sebelah punggung dan lepaskan satu das lagi..bunyinya PRROOTTT!!... fuh bau jangan cakap beb.. aku pun tak tahan bau dia...aku kipas pakai tangan angin dia kasi kurang sikit bau dia... adalah macam bau telur tembelang sikit..

Tetiba aku dengar bunyi telefon berdering lagi... hai lamanya tunggu isteri aku ni, aku tak sabar lagi ni nak tahu surprise dia ni. Aku terasa ada lagilah, kali ni memang aku rasa power punyalah.. aku kumpul dulu kasi padu..

lepastu aku bangun, tonggeng sikit dan lepaskan angin taufan tu...PRRROOOOOTTT!!!!... fuhh
lega... bergegar sikit meja makan dibuatnya... peh tak tahan aku bau dia power gila.. aku tutup hidung aku.. aku rasa bau dia ada sikit-sikit macam bangkai la.. mau mati bunga atas meja makan aku ni.. sambil tu aku sebut 'ahhhh.... lega...'. Adalah dekat 5 minit baru bau bangkai tu
hilang..

Lepas tu isteri aku kembali dan minta maaf sebab lambat.. lalu dia kata 'SURPRISE!! HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!' dan suruh aku buka kain penutup mata aku..laaa birthday aku hari ni le... camne boleh lupa ni.. Aku buka le kain penutup mata aku..

mulut kuterus melopong...

ALAMAK!!! Benda pertama aku lihat.. muka merah padam pak mertua aku, mak mertua aku, adik ipar aku dua orang, duduk keliling meja makan. Bos aku dengan jiran sebelah rumah rumah aku pun ada!!.

Causality...everything happen for a reason.

Woke up early...after Subuh, take my shower, still 6.45 am..decided to take my breakfast at the nearby mamak restaurant before heading to JPN Taman Melawati. After eating my half boiled egg and reading the paper, went straight to JPN. Arrive exactly at 7.20 am, seriously thinking that i am way ahead of my schedule.

There are about 10 people already queing, still okay...so i pun queue la, after 15 minutes...the people lining up in front of me suddenly dispersing and throwing curses. " Shit" muttered one chinese fella...." Apa kejadahnya nie" was the words from a middle man Malay man, in all i understand that they are both frustrated. I walked to the door...and i saw

" MINTA MAAF, NOMBOR GILIRAN SUDAH HABIS, KAMI MASIH MEMPROSES PERMOHONAN DARI JUMAAT DAN SABTU"

Would i lie to you if i said i started to shout obscenities as well...(in my heart la kan...), i mean it is not even 8 am, the number sudah habis kaa...apa pakai org dalam ker? Thinking ahead...i need to find a solution...the real objective is to get my money from my banking account, no ATM card no money...got the saving book but no i/c ...no can do. Must i start again about the story of the passport? I rather not...

Rushed to Maju Junction, the traffic not that bad...had to use elevated highway. Went up to 6 floor and there are already approximately one billion people(i know i am exaggerating but ....). The number has ran out as well....imagine la kan...one of the largest processing centre in Malaysia also ran out of number. And it is only 8.45 am. Need to do something...

Talk to the help desk...she is more a pretty face rather than anything else, not good. I asked kenapa nombor dah habis tapi org beratur lagi...dia kata entah, public degil tak faham. Lagipun depa semua salah faham...tarikh terakhir tukar I/C lama ke Mykad bukan 31.12.2004 tapi 31.12.2005 , masih ada one full year ..tak kena denda pun. Tapi entah...depa ssalah dengar kot....so to you out there...you can still do your I/C next year without penalty la kan..why rush when you can procrastinate..muahahahahahhah.



Had to find other alternative, walked to the nearest kaunter serahan...and asked for their HQ number in order to inquire whether they still process application. She gleefully help me, " Was it my looks or is it because i am a man??" Muahahahahha...

I explained my situation that i lost my wallet and everything, needing access to my bank account, need to pay my school fees, etc...she nodded and slowly said " I think we can slot you in...err give me your i/c number..!"

Without further ado, i blurted out my I/C number...then

" Eh system block laa..., you dah ada dah Mykad nie..you apply kat masa 2001 , kad dah ada nie...tapi di PJ" then she started to ceramah me on why i didnt claim it, why i that..why i this..why i do this...why i do that....feels like eternity la kan.

Then she wrote me a letter and asked me to go to PJ to pick my unclaimed I/C. I thanked her so many times, and rushed off to PJ.

PJ lak on the verge of moving to Putrajaya, they stopped operating but lucklily one of the staff was there at the counter, so i asked her to help me la kan....dont know laa, she help me anyway though she was busy packing.

5 minutes later...she emerged with my I/C and a fine of RM40 ...doesnt matter, got my i/c.

3 hours after that, got my atm cards, my license, my medical card almost everything back....without the wallet la kan.

Imagine, all with an I/C... you can get back everything you lost in flash minusing all the fines and penalties. Doesnt matter....i am grateful enough and learned a valuable lesson.

Suddenly i am an illegal alien!!

"Oh my god?!!"

" Oh MY GOD!!! I AM SO STUPID"

The above captioned clearly illustrated the feelings i had yesterday when i suddenly realised that the worst had happen.

I lost my wallet. Yes i am an idiot! The whole wallet.

What was inside?

For starters, i had RM 185 inside, my identity card, my license, my Maybank ATM card, My Affin ATM card, my Citibank ATM card, My Citibank Credit cards, my Southern Bank Credit Card, my matric card, my medical card, my jusco card, my sogo card, my pride and a little bit of my dignity.

How did i lose it?

I stopped in Sungai Besi to fill up gas and forgot my wallet on top of the gas pump.

I know, sound simple and definitely "idiota" as well.

30 minutes was needed before i realised that my wallet was missing. Made a U-Turn, rushed back to the same gas station, slowing praying that may be a good muslim, a practising Buddhist, or devout religious man may have found it and ask the gas pump manager to keep it in case i come back.

The cold fact was THERE IS NO GOOD SAMARITAN ANYMORE!!! People just couldnt be bothered to be nice...they completely disregard the fact that that wallet may not be theirs in the first place.

I dont mind the money, may be the person who took it needed it more than i do.

But I/C and license man....the thought of queing up at Maju Junction just to prove that you are a Malaysian is a nightmare on its own.

I donno la kan...the fact that there is no good person left in KL is somehow disturbing.

I was tested once, a man dropped his wallet in Pusat Bandar Damansara in 1995. It happen in a blink of an eye.

Being young and ideal, i chased the middle age Chinese guy and return his wallet. My sweat was greatly appreciated and RM10 in the pocket for my honesty as well. Should i have taken the money instead?

May be....but until this day, i knew that returning that wallet is far more satisfying to my soul. After all, i definitely cannot disguise myself as Chew Ah Long or Ming Kok Liew anytime soon. Heh..heh..heh.

I have an international passport but hell no, Maybank still need the I/C to issue me the new ATM card. The same goes with Affin.

Why la kan....if a country like Germany can accept my passport in Berlin and Bonn, how come a Maybank officer refuses to accept my passport as a form of identification?? I/C is bigger than passport huh??

Unfortunately, the last statement was true 100%.

Alawei....alawei.

Now, need to go to JPN and prove i am a BORN MALAYSIAN.

I can feel the agony having to line up now....waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!!!

Are the young generation have an attitude problem??

This is no way malice.....

This is way from the word "disrespect".

In modern management, we are taught to be open-minded, free to speak our mind. Malaysian company adapted Japanese values to create a level playing field, wearing the same jacket, learn Kaizen, JIT etc.

In Organisation developement, people learned about Peter Senge " The Fifth Dicipline" , Richard Beckhard, Richard Lewin " Freeze and unfreeze" etc.

Yet, are we up there with these ideals? Being Asian, we are far from it. Respect still need to be given rather than earned.

" I am manager, respect me!! " Or " I am your superior, respect me"

Young graduates who are exposed with new ideas, either through reading or training, voices out their opinion, outspoken, direct and very much to the point. No more..." Dagang Pak Malau...datang merempat.. and bla..bla..bla"!

These bunch of poeple will have a meeting for 10 minutes to settle 5 agendas, find a quick solution and immediate work on it.

THE OLD GUARD

These bunch are now the bosses to the young generation. They irked with the ideas that these young people speaked quickly, in good english, and direct to the point.

The fear that they will be overshadowed created uneasiness. They wanted to be like them but the spirit is no longer there.

They believe that they have worked hard to their position..hence, respect need to be given.

In some instances, they supported these young generation and be a good mentor. This is a minority though this is far more rewarding.

I wonder,why do we still remembers some of our teachers or lecturers in life?

It is becoz they walloped us like crazy or is it something they taught us that stick like glue. I believe it is the latter than the former. When we crossed path with our teacher and lecturer, do you stop and shake their hand or just to say hi? The majority will say hi or simply wave their hands. Now that everlasting respect man....

Being Asian, i agreed that my generation that are entering the big 30s are brashed perhaps, direct and lack protocols but more result orientated. Believe in getting the high position based on merit and substance rather than pure presentations. Believe in karma, what goes around comes around.

So why the old generation thinks that we lack PR skills? Lack the canvassing skills?

I ask you readers, whom i believe in their 20s and represent an active working population, are the young generation, do we lack respect or too direct for our own good??

I would not answer the question......before you do.

Perhaps it is just another vicious cycle in life, the old guard in the 40s and 50s where fighting the young generation like Ahmad Bostaman, Pemuda API, AWAS due to the influence of Sheikh Mohamad Abduh in Egypt. They wanted change and being young they wanted it quick, arent we any different now?? I believe only with this, the dynamics of an organisation, or even society itself is being kept in good civilised manner.

May be la kan...my two cents...and nowadays, 2 cents hardly worth squat!!

MARI PEDAJALKAN PENGANTIN BARU....

Suasana masih riuh di luar. Sanak saudara semuanya berkampung disini. Gelak ketawa, gurau senda jelas kedengaran. Aku memimpin isteriku ke dalam bilik pengantin.

Suara-suara sumbang terlalu banyak yang menegurku.

"Hai, malam masih muda, dah nak masuk tidur" sapa Pak Ucu.

"Orang muda bang Aji, biarlah. Air dah penuh kat kepala tu." sahut Pak Tam disambut hilai ketawa sanak saudara yang lain. Meriah sungguh keadaan diluar walau jam sudah menunjukkan pukul 11.00 malam.

Hadiah yang masih belum dibuka ku susun ke tepi. Lampu ku tutup. Merebah diri ke katil pengantin, aku menoleh ke arah isteriku.

"Kita tidur dulu lah yer. Ramai sangat orang kat luar tu" Isteriku hanya mengangguk tanda setuju.

Entah pukul berapa sekarang, aku pun tidak tahu. Keadaan di luar gelap gelita dan senyap sunyi. Tanda sanak saudaraku telah pulang dan keluargaku telah tidur.

Jari jemariku lembut membelai rambutnya. Ku selak rambut ikal yang menutupi telinganya lalu membisikkan "Assalammualaikum!" ke telinganya untuk menguji
isteriku.

"Wa alaikummussalam" Rupanya isteriku masih belum tidur.

Ku kucup pipi halusnya. Ku kucup dahinya yang mulus. Semerbak harumnya menusuk deria bauku. Akanku tunaikan tanggungjawabku sebagai suami malam ini. Jari-jemari ini terus membelai tubuhnya. Perasaanku tidak dapat dikawal lagi, namun...

"Kringggggg!!!!!!!...."

"Tik..tik..tik..tik..."

"Kring.. kring..kring.."

Bunyi-bunyi jam loceng entah dari mana memenuhi ruang bilikku. Terkejut dengan segala macam bunyi yang ada, aku membuka lampu. Serentak itu, terang benderang seluruh rumahku. Bunyi-bunyi ini telah berjaya membangunkan semua orang di rumahku.

Aku mencari-cari punca bunyi-bunyi itu. Mataku terarah ke sekotak hadiah yang masih terbalut rapi. Aku buka dengan pantas dan di dalamnya terdapat 5 buah jam loceng. Juga sekeping kad berbunyi... "Selamat Pengantin Baru, Jangan gopoh-gopoh. Baru Pukul 2 pagi. Jangan maree.. kami potong stim. ."

Dalam hatiku.. cilaka punya kengkawan. Potong stim betullah.

TAMAT

HOW TO SAFEGUARD YOUR NOTEBOOK

1. Avoid using computer bags. Computer bags can make it obvious that you're carrying a laptop. Instead, try toting your laptop in something more common like a padded briefcase or suitcase.

2. Never leave access numbers or passwords in your carrying case. Keeping your password with your laptop is like keeping the keys in the car. Without your password or important access numbers it will be more difficult for a thief to access your personal and corporate information.

3. Carry your laptop with you. Always take your laptop on the plane or train rather then checking it with your luggage. It's easy to lose luggage and it's just as easy to lose your laptop. If you're traveling by car, keep your laptop out of sight. For example, lock it in the trunk when you're not using it.

4. Encrypt your data. If someone should get your laptop and gain access to your files, encryption can give you another layer of protection. With Windows XP you can choose to encrypt files and folders. Then, even if someone gains access to an important file, they can't decrypt it and see your information. Learn more about how to encrypt your data.

5. Keep your eye on your laptop. When you go through airport security don't lose sight of your bag. Hold your bag until the person in front of you has gone through the metal detector. Many bags look alike and yours can easily be lost in the shuffle.

6. Avoid setting your laptop on the floor. Putting your laptop on the floor is an easy way to forget or lose track of it. If you have to set it down, try to place it between your feet or against your leg (so you're always aware it's there).

7. Buy a laptop security device. If you need to leave your laptop in a room or at your desk, use a laptop security cable to securely attach it to a heavy chair, table, or desk. The cable makes it more difficult for someone to take your laptop.

8. Try not to leave your laptop in your hotel room or with the front desk. Too many things have been lost in hotel rooms and may not be completely secure. If you must leave your laptop in your room, put the "do not disturb" sign on the door.

Limitations

There is a saying " A man got to learn his limitations.."

I have two questions:

1) Why is it only the man got to learn their limitations? Why not woman...
2) Once we learn our limitations, so what's next?

I have the unfortunate pleasure of knowing the limits of my patience.

My patience was SEVERELY tested with a bunch of relatives.

I know, you would probably say " well you can live with them and you can live without them"

My weekend was "to live with them".

I dont know lar this new generation of kids nowadays la kan have no definition of MALU or what. They just utterly asked " Why cant we eat in that restaurant lar, this restaurant is not that good?!" or " I thought we were having nasik, why are they serving me steaks instead?" or even " Yesterday we got to eat Seafood, err..tomorrow we go to Restoran Nelayan boleh?"

Haiyo....kay poh ler.

What hurts me most was not the money, but the pain of hearing the odesity of some of the people asking for it! May be we are truly being Malaysia Boleh in all aspects!

I stand corrected, i am hurting in the money department too for the relative who suggest all this is unemployed but suggesting she WILL. Makes programmes shall her....

My veins nearly split into two, my blood pressure was pumping 180, my eyes goes bleary with tears of dissapointment. What to do.....i am married to this.

Only the joy of seeing my kids playing with their cousins damper my anger. Their smiles and laughter somehow brings happiness to me too.

Slowly i hugged my two kids and said " I love you two!!"

....finally i found my pillar of strength and perhaps the beacon of life i was searching for.

God bless their souls!

10 EFFECTIVE HABITS OF HIGHLY CREATIVE PEOPLE

Untuk menjadi seorang yang kreatif, anda mestilah tidak berfikir seperti orang
kebanyakan. Anda perlu menjadi lain dari yang lain. Amalan kreativiti dapat
menyelesaikan banyak masalah. Berikut adalah latihan kreativiti yang anda boleh
amalkan.

1. Masukkan remote TV dalam sarung handset ayah anda sebelum beliau pergi kerja.
Ayah anda pasti tidak lagi disaman kerana menelefon sambil memandu.

2. Isikan mangkuk tandas dengan ikan-ikan kecil yang dibeli dari kedai akuarium.
Bayangkan penjimatan wang yang diperlukan untuk beli serbuk cuci.

3.Tekan butang mute pada TV ketika program berita dan reka terjemahan percakapan
pemberita untuk keluarga anda. Keluarga anda pasti selamat dari propaganda
kerajaan.

4.Amalkan penutup perbualan antara anda dan rakan-rakan dengan ayat,
"Terimakasih atas laporan tuan-tuan." Rakan anda pasti insaf bahawa borak kosong
itu tiada makna.

5.Lekatkan stiker "UMNO-Dulu, Kini dan Selamanya" pada cermin depan dan
"Reformasi-Lawan Tetap Lawan" pada cermin belakang kereta anda. Bayangkan betapa
banyak kawan yang akan anda dapat.

6. Cat tin biskut dengan cat merah dan tulis perkataan "ALARM". Lekatkan tin
tersebut pada dinding rumah di sebelah meter elektrik. Masih beranikah pencuri
masuk?

7. Selitkan gambar anda pada cover VCD. Anda mungkin perlu gunting sikit gambar
anda agar dia ngam-ngam muat sebagai gambar cover VCD. Anda jimat RM15 untuk
beli bingkai.

8. Peliharalah semut api. Untuk menangkap semut api, anda hanya perlu menabur
gula ditembok tempat kutu-kutu kampung bersidang. Kampung anda pasti aman.

9. Jangan lap badan anda selepas mandi, sebaliknya terus pakai baju kerja. Buka
semula baju dan terus gosok. Anda tidak perlu lagi sembur air pada baju ketika
menggosok.

10. Sedekahkan sepasang selipar berlainan warna, kiri warna merah dan kanan
warna biru kepada surau pejabat anda. Kalau orang curi juga selipar tu, tak-tau
apa nak cakap.

Walaupun perbuatan yang disenaraikan adalah ganjil, ia mendatangkan hasil yang
praktikal. Pada kebiasaannya ide kreatif ini akan mendapat tentangan orang tidak
kreatif. Jika anda mengamalkan latihan di atas, pastikan anda bersedia menerima
cemuhan mereka.

Our beacon in life

Too often we sat and glorified those we admired. Some really admired David Beckham, admired his looks, admired his wife, his money, his success and admired that he managed to bed several woman and get away with it. The majority admired Rasulullah and the way he deals with adversity.(i seriuosly believe that the media needs to sell this more rather than modern icons who are not free from errors)

Some admired Mandela, some admired Dr M, others Nik Aziz, there are some admired their own parents and some even admired their wife or husband secretly. Well i guess this is normal ..after all, we all need someone to look up to.

When we were growing up, our father may be our greatest hero. Hence , the conversation like " Ko tahu, bapak aku boleh menyelam kat Sungai Pahang sampai 15 minit tau itu hari!!"

"Eleh, bapak aku tahun lepas menyelam sampai 30 minit , tak kecoh pun...."

" Bapak ko berdua tak terror, bapak aku lagi hebat...dari tahun 1983..dia menyelam sampai sekarang tak timbul-timbul lagi"

Ah, how we glorified our parents then....after we become teenagers, suudenly we realised that our dad is not that great after all...hence, arguments ensued..statement "Alah abah pun bukkanya buat macam mak suruh dulu.....".

The search of new idols began...we found solice in our friends, some in books , some in pornographics items, some in god, some never recovered at all.

I may come from a broken family, but i am fond of both my mum and dad but to be honestly, they are not my beacon in shaping the person that i am today. I have always make my decision mirroring what would some of my collegues do, hence you can say i admired my group of friends..heh..heh (the need to be accepted).

I realised this when i had a conversation with my classmates as to the most important person they felt have an impact in their lifes. many said this...some says that....i couldn't say anything.

I believe i am in a minority when i said that there are some that hardly have any icon or icons that they admired. In fact this small group are dynamic in their chosen icon...sometimes it is William Wallace (Scotland warrior), some other occassion it is Aragorn in LOTR, the reluctant king who felt he may failed as his duty, or even Michael Owen , not wanted by Raul in Real Madrid but scores every time he come on the field.

Must we follow a person or a collection of attributes from different persons? Jay, my friend, becomes a doctor because he wanted to be like his father, a doctor as well. True enough he become exactly like his father by having two wives as well. ( That is a real accomplishment!!!), Khairul is the same...a lecturer, becoz both of his parents are lecturers.

Then who are the person you admired or look for in terms of guidance? I must honestly said that i hardly have any icons in my life, i dont admired David Beckham though if he has extra money that he wanted to give me, i wouldnt mind spending it. I dont admired Annuar Zain though if he were to lend me his voice i probably win Akademi Fantasi 3 next year. I dont mind admired Nik Aziz for with his piousness i probably be a much better person that i am now.

The real question that bog me down last nite was when i asked myself..." Mesti ada icon ke? You are your own master ler......"

Iya ker??

Puteri Yang Cantik Rupawan

Pada zaman dahulu, ada seorang puteri yang cantik rupawan. Namanya Puteri Sheila on 7Eleven. Sejak lahir lagi puteri ini telah terkena sumpahan. Apaje menda yang dipegang oleh puteri akan cair. Oleh sebab tu, semua lelaki tak mahu dekat dengan puteri sebab takut, kalau puteri tu terpegang mereka maka meraka akan cair jugak.

Maka musykil la Ayahanda nye kerana alamat tak kawin la puterinya itu. Maka, dengan nasihat memanda perdana menteri, Maharaja pun membawa puteri berjumpa dengan seorang bomoh untuk berubat. Mengikut kata bomoh tersebut, puteri akan terlepas dari sumpahan jika puteri dapat memegang sesuatu yang tak kan cair. Tapi bomoh itu sendiri pun tak tau apakah benda tersebut.

Atas cadangan memanda perdana menteri, Maharaja telah mengistiharkan bahawa barang siapa lelaki yang dapat membawa sesuatu, yang apabila puterinya pegang tak cair, lelaki itulah yang akan kawin dengan puterinya itu.

Maka pada hari itu, berduyun-duyun lah lelaki datang membawa benda masing-masing dengan harapan dapat menjadi menantu raja. Kemudian, pertandingan pun berlangsung..... Muncul lah lelaki yang pertama,

Maharaja: Ha, apa benda yang kau bawa tu?

Lelaki#1 : Hamba membawa batang logam Titanium. Logam inilah yang paling keras dalam dunia. Pada zaman akan datang, logam ini menjadi batang golf, bateri dan kapal terbang.

Maharaja : Ok, biar puteri Beta pegang benda itu.

Lelaki#1 : Silakan....

Maka puteri itu pun pegang la logam Titanium itu.Ahhhhhh Cair nampaknye logam itu. Kecewa lah lelaki itu, Maharaja dan tuan puteri...

Muncullah lelaki ke-2.....

Maharaja: Ha kamu! Apa yang kamu bawa tu?
Lelaki#2: Hamba membawa batu berlian. Menda ini lah yang paling keras dalam dunia. Pada masa akan datang,menda ini bukan saja menjadi perhiasan malah digunakan untuk memotong besi dan digunakan untuk menggali minyak di dasar lautan.

Maharaja: Kalau begitu, biar puteri Beta mencubanya.

Lelaki#2: Silakan.....
Maka puteri itu pun memegang le berlian tersebut.Ahhhhhhhh Cair jugak berlian itu nampaknya. Kecewa la lelaki itu, maharaja dan puteri.

Seterusnya, lelaki-lelaki lain pun mencuba juga tapi malangnya semua benda yang dipegang oleh puteri tetap cair hendaknya...

Kemudian muncul lah elaki yang terakhir. Eh!!Dia datang berlenggang je tanpa membawa apa-apa pun di tangannya!

Maharaja: Hey Kamu! Apa yang kamu bawa? Kenapa datang berlenggang je?

Lelaki: Patik ada membawa benda tuanku. Tapi benda hamba tu ada dalam poket hamba ini.

Maharaja: Kalau begitu, keluarkanlah benda kamu tu.Biar puteri Beta cuba memegangnya.

Lelaki: Tak boleh tuanku. Kalau puteri nak memegangnya,seluklah dalam poket hamba ini...

Maharaja: Hmmmm.... Kalau begitu, baiklah!

Maka terpaksalah puteri itu menyeluk dalam poket lelaki itu. Puteri teragak-agak sebab puteri tak tau apa yang ada dalam poket lelaki itu. Lama sungguh puteri meramas poket lelaki tersebut

Kemudian puteri terpegang sesuatu... Mukanya merah menahan malu. Lelaki itu hanya tersenyum saja. Tiba-tiba puteri menarik tangannya kembali. Puteri berlalu dari situ kerana malu. Maharaja hairan... Maharaja tanya puterinya

Maharaja: Anakanda dapat pegang sesuatu?

Puteri: Dapat....

Maharaja: Benda tu cair?

Puteri: Tak....

Maharaja: Baiklah, dengan ini Beta istiharkan lelaki ini menjadi menantu Beta!

Lelaki: Hehehehehehehehehehehe.......

Tapi...Apakah yang puteri itu pegang? Kenapa lelaki itu ketawa? Dan kenapa benda tu tak cair? Apakah yang korang rasa puteri itu telah pegang?

Apa agaknya yang terlintas dalam kepala korang? haaaaa?Hehehehehehehehehe.....
(Sila scroll down...........)

HA HA HA JAWAPANNYA IALAH...

COKELAT M&M CAIR DIMULUT, TIDAK DITANGAN! KORANG INGAT APA? OTAK TU BIAR
BETUL SIKIT AAAAA...TAK SESUAIII TAU KORANG KWUANG KWUANG HE HE HE HE

PUTERI TU MERAH MUKA MALU PASAL DEPAN DIA TU BAKAL SUAMI DIA...

Doa-doa yang makbul

Alkisah.....

Seorang lelaki melayu ponteng sembahyang Jumaat. Sebaliknya dia masuk hutan
untuk memburuberuang. Sedang dia terhendap2 di dalam semak, tiba2 dia
berlanggar dengan seekor beruang.

Dia begitu terkejut sehingga senapangnya tercampak lalu tergelungsur ke
dalam jurang. Dia pula tergolek ke arah lain, jatuh ke atas batu dan
KRAKKKK! Kedua2 kakinya patah. Jangan risau .. ini bukanlah berita buruk
ok. Ada lagi ..

Berita buruknya adalah beruang tadi terus menghambatnya, sedangkan dia dah
tak boleh bergerak lagi. "Ya Allah," doa lelaki tersebut, "Ampunilah dosaku
kerana ponteng sembahyang berjemaah pada hari Jumaat yang mulia ini ..
Ampunilah aku ya Allah .. makbulkan hajat ku ini .. jadikanlah beruang yang
memburuku Muslim yang beriman .. tolong ya Allah! Aminnn .."

Tiba2 guruh berdentum! Beruang tadi tiba2 terhenti betul2 di hadapan lelaki
tadi.

Sambil menadah kedua2 kaki depannya ke langit .. beruang tersebut pun
berdoa, "Allahumma barik lana, fima razaktana, wa qina azabbannar. Amin!"


beriman betul beruang tu...nak makan lelaki tu pun baca doa dulu...ehehe