Philosampah

We all wanted to be more than what we really are.

We have dream of bigger and better things throughout our entire life.

We have promised and planned our way towards goals and objectives set for our future.

We have toiled and sacrifice for what we believes in.

So what happen when if all comes down and crashing like a demolished building??

Do we trodded on and believe that this is just a small set back?

Do we crumbled under its weight and give up??

How many goes for the first answer, believing that it is just a minor set-back?

How many goes for the second answer, choose to give up and walk away??

That is probably why we play video games...escape reality, be the hero that we all wanted to be...either saving the universe like Cloud did in Final Fantasy VII, or scored the winning goal in Winning Eleven....we all drifted away....beliving that we can be more than what we really are.

The best part is....if it doesnt work...we can push the reset button and start the game all over again.

In life, it is hard to get a second chance.

If you are drug addict then...forget it, you are not wanted.

If you are convicted fellony, forget it...you are not wanted.

If you screw up....forget it, you will get sack in the end of the month.

If you makes too many mistakes in a marriage, you might end up with a divorce.

In the end...most of us play safe in all the games we played in life....a little bit of that, a little bit of this. Don't wanna lose this...do wanna lose that.

Sacrifice my values and principles here......forget my integrity and character there.

Actually, when do we actually do things for yourself??

Just for the sake of it....

or perhaps we can say " Alhamdulillah".

Life is good huh..??

Heh..heh

Feeling wanting more...

The feeling struck me like a lightning.

I wasn't really think about it....

But it came out of the blue...

It just did....

May be subconciously it has lingers and habors for quite some time.

Heck..

May be it is a sign of old age.....may be i am just stubborn

Perhaps reaching a certian threshold of patience.....perhaps i am sick of the way the world works...

Now...i felt that i wanted more....not just a job, but a job that i can plotted its course.

I wanna control my own destiny ....i have trouble with taking orders from people who couldn't the job properly the first time.

Nearing 30 years old come June, may be i realised that i should have done more with my life.

Arriving ashore in Malaysia after my long journey abroad, life was hard then...it was recession.

Job were hard to come by....and now almost 8 years later, job still hard to come by.

The time is nigh.

I am to know what really lies out there in KL.

I am ready...after years preaching to others (especially my friends) that we should chart our own destiny.

I have decided to quit my job.....

and starts something on my own.

Pray for me.....

Pray for me that i succeed and may be one day....

I can turn back and say..

Your prayers push me on...and on.

God bless...

MISTERI PING-PONG

Amer berumur 15 adalah seorang anak yang pendiam. Dia sungguh misteri. Bapanya seorang pesara tentera, kini memulakan perniagaan kecil-kecilan, manakala ibunya telah pun meninggal dunia sejak dia berumur 8 tahun. Tinggal lah Amer dan bapanya berdua. Bapanya seorang yang amat tegas dan mengharapkan Amer berjaya didalam pelajaran.

Setelah bertungkus lumus belajar akhirnya Amer mendapat kesemua A dalam setiap mata pelajarannya ketika menduduki peperiksaan SPM.

Suatu petang bapanya memanggil Amer. "Bapak bangga dengan pencapaian engkau, Amer, apa kau nak sebagai hadiah kerana cemerlang didalam PMR? Basikal?"

Amer hanya membalas "Saya hanya nakkan 2 biji bola ping pong aje bapak."

Bapaknya hairan. Tapi dia tetap menunaikan hajat anaknya. Dia lantas membelikan anaknya 2 biji bola pingpong.

Masa kian berlalu, kini Amer mendapat kejayaan didalam SPM, dia mendapat 10A dan diterima dijurusan kejuruteraan mekanikal disebuah university terkemuka di Malaysia. Bapanya bangga dan bertanyakan apakah hadiah yang Amer mahukan. Amer masih tetap mahukan 2 biji ping pong. Bapanya bertambah hairan, namun dia tetap membelikan Amer 2 biji bola ping pong.

Semasa di university, Amer terus berjaya dan berjaya dan dia telah mendapat award sebagai pelajar terbaik di Universitinya. Kejayaan demi kejayaan yang diterimanya dia masih tetap mahukan 2 biji bola pingpong dari bapanya.

Bapanya terfikir yang dia mempunyai anak yang kurang centre, tetapi masih berbangga.

Akhirnya dia telah diterima bekerja di salah sebuah syarikat engineering yang terbesar di Malaysia yang bertaraf international. Bapa Amer makin gembira lantas dia masih bertanyakan apa yang Amer hendak. Amer masih tetap mahukan bola ping pong.

"Kau ni, asik2 bola pingpong! Sudah!! Perniagaan bapak makin maju dan bapak adiahkan kau sebuah Kereta Mercedes SLK Compressor"

Namun, Amer tetap gembira dengan pemberian bapanya tanpa banyak soal.

Pada hari dia mendapat kereta tersebut, dia keluar untuk men'test' keretanya. Namun, apalah malang Amer, dia mendapat kemalangan yang teruk di Highway KM 1.24 dan dimasukkan ke ICU.

Bapa Amer amat terperanjat dengan kemalangan tersebut.

Semasa di ICU, bapanya menjaga Amer dengan penuh kasih sayang. Tetapi nampaknya Amer tadak harapan nak sembuh, lalu Amer mengeluarkan kesemua bola ping pongnya dan menyerahkan pada bapanya.

"Bapak... ameklah bola ping pong yang saya simpan ni...." kata Amer kesakitan.

"Amer, selama ni ko asik mintak bola ping pong aje, ape ke paedahnya" kata bapaknya

"Sebenarnya ada misteri disebalik bola ping pong ini..." kata Amer

"Apa dia" tanya bapa Amer

Tetapi belum sempat Amer memberitahu meisterinya, Amer menghembuskan nafasnya yang terakhir...

Bapa Amer menjadi separuh gila mengenangkan misteri anaknya.

Apakah misteriya? Anda nak tau????











ianya tetap misteri kerana tajuk cerita ini adalah Misteri Bola Ping Pong dan akan menjadi misteri selamanya. Kalau berjaya diselesaikan...tak la jadi misteri lagi....kan..kan..kan.

Orang Bodoh & Orang Pandai

Orang bodoh = pakai credit card sampai maximum pas tu takleh bayar (berlagak macam org banyak duit!)
Orang pandai = pakai credit card tapi orang lain bayarkan (pakai kad klon la tu!)

Orang bodoh = ada motor tapi gi kerja nak naik LRT jugak(kes suka 'bergesel'la ni)
Orang pandai = takde motor, takde kereta, takde LRT tapi ada otak (kes suka numpang kereta or motor kawan tapi tak reti nak hulur duit minyak!)

Orang bodoh = company dah sediakan nescafe, milo, biskut bla bla bla tapi gi minum gak kat cafeteria kena bayar plak tu
Orang pandai = tak minum kat cafeteria tapi company punya nescafe, milo, biskut bla bla bla angkut bawak balik !!!!

Orang bodoh = beli suratkhabar sebab nak tengok nombor ekorje pas tu buang.
Orang pandai = orang yg tunggu org bodoh buang pas tu dia kutip..dapat baca semua sekali wo

Orang bodoh = kentut kuat? kat office pas tu bangga ngan baunya
Orang pandai = kentut senyap sunyi (takde bunyi) baunya... boleh buat unta sakit perut! dhab pun koma sekejap! pas tu bermati-matian salahkan member sebelah (guess sapa member sebelah tu?....si bodoh yg kentut kuat tu la!)

Orang bodoh = ada masalah cerita kat orang pandai
Orang pandai = dengar masalah orang bodoh pastu cerita kat orang bodoh yang lain, pas tu membodohkan orang bodoh tu... jadinya orang bodoh yang pertama tu jadi bodohs (plural)

In two weeks time...

If i kept the time...in a glass of sand

It will be emptied by now....

Because we Malaysian have a knack of steling sand from the river.

Heheh...i know it is not related..but i thought i was trying to be deep and thought provoking.

But what the heck la kan...

Anyway, it has been hectic...and somehow i lost myself along the way...

Becoz i hardly remember what i really did on Monday....barely remember Tuesday.

All i know this Morning, Liverpool beat Bayern Leverkusen 3-1. That's gonna make my week ...

Just a matter to walloping Chelsea this Sunday. I know it is wishful thinking...but a man can dream kan..kan..kan.

Banyak nak sembang tapi tak dan tulis la nie...

Minyak wangi

Kejadian ini terjadi pada suatu terminal bas ketika menjelang perayaan. Ketika itu terminal penuh sesak, sehingga untuk berjalan pun susah. Seorang perempuan, dengan susah payah akhirnya dapat duduk di satu seat yang masih lagi kosong.

Kerana lama sangat menunggu tetiba perempuan tadi terasa ingin membuang air kecil .... kacau2 fikir perempuan ini. Kalau turun, hendak ke tandas, tempat duduk ini tentu akan menjadi milik orang lain. lantaran itu, perempuan itu membuang air kecil disitu ( Seat sebelah nyer )

Tak lama kemudian datang seorang lelaki yang hendak duduk di sebelah perempuan tersebut. Melihat tempat duduknya basah, maka lelaki itu pun bertanya :

Lelaki : Maaf yer . . , mengapa tempat duduk ini basah ?

Perempuan : Oh . . maaf, ini . . anu . . , minyak wangi saya tadi tumpah . . , tak ada tutupnya . . . . Kemudian lelaki tadi mengeluarkan sapu tangannya dan mulai membersihkan tempat duduk itu. Akan tetapi dia mula curiga dengan baunya yang lain, maka diciumnya sapu tangan itu . . . .

Akhirnya sambil tersenyum lelaki itu berkata : Wah . . . . . , kalau minyak wangi yang seperti ini . . ,

penutupnya ada pada saya. . .

Bagaimana Cara Makan, Begitulah Cintanya

" Ish! Pelahapnya dia makan! 'Cancel' nak buat pak we!! Tengoklah tu
makanan tepi bibir pun tak dilapnya. Eiii....teruknya."

Perhatikan gaya teman kamu makan! Masing-masing ada gaya yang
tersendiri. Ada yang makan penuh kesopanan, ada yang makan sambil bercakap
bahkan sambil tersembur pun ada! Ha...jangan tak tahu. Gaya makan si dia di
meja makan juga ada memberikan gambaran sikap sebenar si dia. Apa kata
kita selidik. Perhatikan lah bagaimana gaya si dia makan tapi jangan
pula sampai dia terperasan. Barulah kamu boleh menilai peribadinya.

Makan dengan tenang :
-Wah! Skima habis nampaknya. Suapannya penuh hati-hati. Tapi sikapnya
itu buat kamu bosan. Geram pun ada gak. Mana taknya, dia seolah-olah
lebih 'minat' dengan makanan itu berbanding dengan diri kamu sendiri.
Namun
disebalik sikap dingin si dia itu menggambarkan bahawa dia seorang yang
tegas dalam! membuat keputusan dan usah diragui soal kesetiaannya. Kamu
tetap satu di hatinya! Cewah!

Asyik belek makanan :
-Hai! Dia lebih banyak pandang makanan daripada wajah kamu! Macamlah
makan tu sedap sangat. Perhatikan cara dia makan. Cukup teliti. Misalnya
kalau makan ikan, tulang-tulang ikan itu siap disusun di tepi pinggan.
Elok saja! Usah gusar, itu menandakan dia amat prihatin dalam tiap apa
juga yang dilakukan. Selain itu, tentu saja dia memang serius dengan
kamu. So, usahlah diragukan cintanya!

Serius ketika makan :
-Kiranya gaya makan dia okey saja. Tak terlalu cepat atau lambat
sangat. Sesekali dia akan berbual tapi taklah kerap sangat. Bermakna kamu
masih lagi 'wujud' di depannya. Namun ketika mengunyah, matanya asyik
perhatikan kamu hingga kadangkala kamu nak makan pun segan. Alahai!
Bertuahnya badan! Nampak sangat dia teramat sayang terhadap kamu dan tak mahu
kamu 'hilang' sesaat pun dari pandangannya. Jaga-jaga, kang nanti
tercekik tulang pulak! Sikap pelindung jelas ditunjukkan terhadap diri kamu.
Berbahagialah
yek!

Makan sambil borak :
-Syok sangat berbual dengan kamu sampaikan nasi di dalam pinggan pun
tak luak. Itu menggambarkan si dia seorang yang periang dan susah nak
tengok dia marah. Tapi, merajuk tu adalah. Selain itu, dia juga gemar
berterus-terang kerana baginya itu adalah antara perkara utama untuk
memastikan sesebuah perhubungan itu berjaya. Tapi awas, jangan buat dia
marah. 'Angin satu badan'lah pulak!

Makan sambil kerap tengok jam :
-Tiap kali makan, selalu nak cepat sedangkan masa masih pangjang dan
tak ada perkara yang nak 'dikejar'. Jangan salah faham, bukan dia ada
date dengan gadis/jejaka lain, cuma itu dah memang tabiat dia. Itu semua
menunjukkan bahawa dia sebenarnya amat menitikberatkan soal masa. Tengok
saja tiap kali berjanji. Mesti 'on time' dia sampai. Sebab tu dia tak
suka seseorang yang lembap.

Makan sambil merungut :
-Ada saja yang tak kena. Makanan tak sedaplah,macam kat
cafe.....,kurang garamlah dan macam-macam lagi. Kadangkala tu, sakit
juga hati kamu dibuatnya. Alah! Biasalah tu, dia kan jenis yang suka
berterus-terang. Apa saja yang dirasakan tak puas hati akan diluahkan
walaupun kadangkala ia merimaskan kamu.Tapi di sebalik sikapnya itu, ia
menunjukkan bahawa dia teramat mengambil berat terhadap diri kamu. Cuma
awas, dia tu kuat cemburu. Jadi, jangan gatal-gatal nak menjeling
jejaka/gadis kat cafe atau di meja sebelah walaupun sekadar untuk cuci mata.
Nahas u all nanti!

~bagaimana pula cara korang makan ?

Evaluation time....

This is the time of the year where you are evaluated on your performance throughout the year.

To those that have a KPI (Key Performance Indicator), it will be easier to gauge whether you have achieve or missed your target. Yang tak ade....try and pick the best out of many la kan....

Rata2nya kita akan over-zealous dlm mengisi borang nie....practically none will mark themselves below average or not able to achieve target...using Likert scale of 1-5, most will fill-in as 3 or 4. And perhaps those who felt that they are world class performer....may fill in as 5.

Which brings me to one of my office colleague, it is no secret to the whole office that he used to be the favourite son of one of the top director here....with that he enjoys meteoric rise in promotion and salary. Apa saje masalah dia....dia akan dapat backing top director tersebut ler...kira ada cable baik punya la kan...( I was not with the company yet....all this were told by more than 5 people from diff.departments...so the possibility of it being true...is high). Now, we have a new top director....who doesnt "makan pujuk" atau "kaki report"...so he suffers la kan...but yet he marks himself as world class performer in 6 out of his 10 aptitude questionaires....i mean, what self belief?!! If he were a lollypop, he will be sucking himself!

But suka hati dia laa....dia pun tak kacau aku, cuma ramai duk cerita itu ini ...aku pun terpaksa cerita kat korang lak....nanti aku simpan lama2 dlm hati, aku gila lak....you wouldnt want a crazy blogger do you? Muahahahhaha....

Anyway, my principle is simple...work hard...play hard and party like hell. You dont need to brag abt it, or tell your boss everything that need to be done...becoz if you really slog out in the office, people will notice anyway...they know you can solve their problem, they know they can relate to you becoz you are a fellow man, so why the need to suck up to your bosses and tell inflated things?

My guess is simple...perhaps this people have low self confidence...they may actually have low skills but desired more, unfortunately dont wanna work hard for it...they wanted it easy, they wanted to be accepted by the top boss, so they becomes barua...this psychological backburner doesn't come during their working days, they have harboured this sucking up attitude since they were little...probably due to sibling rivalry, or small genitalia, or i dont know....may be constant failures in their life, didnt get to get into borading school perhaps....not in the first 11 in the football team, not being elected as a prefect, being jilted in their first approach to their long admired girlfriends or boyfriends, the list is endless...

So they resort to other methods....which is unfortunate, because they may be a really nice person...but something wicked this way come should they are pushed or threathen...

All i can say is that...believe in yourself...and trust god on this, you will reap the reward of your own honesty and kindness...if not today, perhaps tomorrow, or the day after tomorrow...if not wait laa....sabar pun separuh dari iman...heh..heh.

Malays and it beliefs....

My partner's grandmother passed yesterday.

God bless her soul and may Allah place her in the those who are constantly blessed.

However, much need to be said on things that has happen prior to her death.

A week ago, before the CNY holidays...my family were rushed to our kampung on the news of her impending death. We started our journey abt 4.30 am...and arrive at 12.15pm. Straight to her house and tend to her illness. She looks more like an Ethopian during the famine days more than an old woman in her last days. Grasping for air...she is weaken by the minute.

Having my fair share of seeing my relatives passed away, i knew her time will come...it is just a matter of when. Late last nite, prior to our arrival....a group of vilagers even recite the yassin feeling that she could die any minute. But somehow she prevailed....and that was the beginning of my disposition.

Due to her strong zest of life, much have been said abt her, that perhaps she has something "unholy" residing inside her, that she kept something like a "hantu raya" that helps to preserve her life. She was a Mak Andam before which heighten the speculations that she kept some sort of "help" during her practice to be successful...To add more drama to it, one of our relative who learn the art of "andam" also strucked by a sort of hysteria and shrieked in fear when closed to her.

So then....so many bomohs and shamans come out in the woods ...doing their chanting and trance, medium and all sorts of methods to rid of her evil spirits. Her sons even told me that their mother kept something with her and angered by the fact that she didnt tell them abt it.

Okay ....let's stop and ponder abt it awhile.

1) If you are their mother and assuming that you do have a "hantu raya" accompanied you, would you called your children one day on a quite little evening and tell them that you have one?? I mean ....who's the hell going to do that? Jatuhlah maruah dia ...bodoh la bodoh.

2) Even if she kept a "hantu raya" even...it is still not nice to say it in front of her ...she is placed in the guest room and can hear what you are saying. It is disrespect and totally insensitive to call her "memakai" and what not. Afterall, she is still your mother....and syurga di bawah kaki ibu la beb!

It is not i do not believe in some ghosts and evil spirits, i know they exist..but to the best of my knowledge , jin and all these spirits cannot harmed us directly. Cerita org mati akibat terpijak anak jin ....adalah bodoh sama sekali kerana mana kita nampak jin tersebut, kalau kita nampak takkan kita nak pijak la kan....anak jin tuh??Anak jiran sebelah yang kekadang memekak pun kita takkan pijak sampai mati....apalah bodoh sangat!!!

Yet...references are made to Misteri Nusantara and all those mustika articles. Alahai...i may be a bad muslim but i know in times like this, our holy scriptures and hadith should be the source rather than those nonsense.

Itu yang aku kecewa sangat...mentality org Melayu kita in the 21st century...lagi negara maju, makin banyak bomoh and all those nonsense, somehow we need to have one foot in the different realm.

Correct me if i am wrong....but kepercayaaan karut nie haruslah ditinggalkan...silap2 syirik beb!

Monday Blues...

Ah ...

That was my initial response when the alarm starts ringing....

A reminder that i has to get back to my usual routine....

But to be honest.....so many things has happen last week.

It will take many entries....just for a start.

Bukan tak boleh buat kat rumah tapi kalau kat rumah, pakat tgk TV and main game aje laa...

Meanwhile, looking at my desk...there seem to be a tonne of work that need to be done...

Might as well...i finished those off, then blog to my heart content...

Till then...

AKU DAN EMOSI

SP

Mengapa engkau begitu menyemburui kehidupanku

Ape salah ku sampai aku tidak berpeluang

Untuk melakukannya tanpamu..

Kerna mungkin kau tahu aku tidak mampu

Untuk hidup tanpamu..



SP..

Boleh dikatakan hampir setiap hari

Aku harus bertemu denganmu

Mengapa sehingga begini sekali cemburumu

Menghantui siang dan malamku..

Lantas aku jadi takut untuk berhadapan denganmu..



SP

Bila keluar..kaulah yang selalu membawa bencana..

Bila ramai orang memandangku..kau seakan tertawa..

Membuatku lebih waspada dan kadangkala kecewa..

Aduh kenapa engkau juga yang muncul..

Kenapa kau sentiasa mengongkong hidupku



SP..

Kadang kala bila ku ingin lari darimu..

Aku terpaksa mencari port2 yang tersembunyi..

Tersembunyi dari pandangan mata lain..

Letih kakiku berjalan semata untuk mengelakmu..

Berpeluh-peluh badanku semata2 tidak mahu berjumpamu



SP

Mengapa tidak kau ganggu saja orang lain

Tinggalkan saja diriku

Kerana aku sudah tidak sanggup diganggu olehmu

Olehmu yang tidak mempunyai perasaan

Oleh engkau yang tidak punyai hati perut



Aaaarrrrgggghhhhhh berambus la ko SP

Hmmmmm.hampehhhh..hampeh ko.

Hampeh larrr ko,side parking

The week after...

Many things has happen since i last dipped into my blog.

Syed Tamim shot himself.

One bloke got beaten to death becoz of some idiot who thinks he is the king of the road.

Anelka moves to Fenerbahce. Liverpool has beaten Charlton 1-0. Arsenal lose again to Man Utd.

And i was diagnosed by the eye specliasit that i suffered from glucoma.

That is the best week i had so far this year....all the joy in the world and a little footnote of sadness.

I wasnt deterred....the fact that i could lose one of my eyesight forever seems like a nightmare that wouldnt come true.

I believe that i will beat this thing....i will get better.

But if i didnt .....nobody would say that i didnt try to live my life to the fullest.

Am i angry with god for this disease?

Why should i?

I can only kneel down and marvel at this guidance that only strengthen my self belief.

Perhaps this is just a facade that will pass through....but i know i just telling that to myself to make myself fell good.

But i do feel good....if i am destined to have one eye...so be it. Perhaps this is for the better...perhaps i ended up working for Hospital Tun Hussein Onn.

Or may be joined some triad.

When bad things happen to some of your friends, either being robbed, get mugged, maliciously treated by others, raped or cheated, deep inside you tell yourself....

" That wouldnt happen to me....because i will take care of myself"

But things happen either you plan to avoid it or not....it is up to you either to learn from it or die from it.

One of my office colleague has just heard that he is to be transferred to a different department ....he was afraid and this has eaten away his health. Slowly his fear crumpled him...making him a lesser man. He can no longer come to work because he is too frail....he will broke down during work. And what makes things worse what that he used to be the head boy of some top boarding school in Malaysia.

To be honest with you...initially i sympathise with him becoz he is somewhat victimise..but know i honestly felt that he is a wek human being. Come on for crying out loud! You are just going to be transferred to another department...you are not getting fired or anything. Changes will benefitted you somehow...learn new skills, work with new people etc.

Yet he took in negatively...he thought it was the end of the world....letihnya la lu. Pardon me from being such a killjoy but he should be stronger..and proves the doubters wrong. Yet he choose to retreat into his shell and demand attention. Silly fool...you will only lose your self respect with this.

May be i have a different way of thinking but i am what i am....and i believe that no matter what happens, we should face it with grace.

It is not like you are going to lose an eye like me.....i am still smilling and i am still working.

May be i am the idiot...

Heh..heh..hheee....