It has been too bloody long since i last updated my blog
Not that i deliberately left it barren...i just had a lot on my minds now
For the past weeks, i have met some old friends who were quick to redeem themselves
It's okay...i am afterall wanted just a true friendship...than just kawan masa senang
Sometimes if you think about it, there may be a point in your life you began asking...
" i have help a lot of people.....will these people come to my aid when i needed them?"
i frowned and somehow felt the deepest sadness in my heart....
then i slowly realised...
It wasn't them who repay my kindness...
It is Allah, it always is.
Thursday, February 23, 2006
Sunday, February 05, 2006
The tale of two husbands
Need your opinion on this....
First Husband
The first husband married early in life at the ripe young age of 20 years old. He didn't get a good degree but a degree nonetheless. Being married, the thought of having family is heavy on his minds albeit knowing that it is a huge financial outlay.
Economic recession slaps him in his face...he couldn't get a job..his wife was luckily enoughto be drafted by one of the local univ. He searches but with a weak degree...he couldn't get far. He has to endure countless interview without success...broke and desperate, he becomes a salesman.
With a meagre of commission, he plow away until he was given a chance to work at one small company as an executive. He started well....get connected quickly and quickly rises through the ranks. However, knowing that a plain monthly salary wouldn't cut it on its own, he becomes a broker of sorts. Getting his day work done during the day and make deals at nite for his business.
After work, he forgo dinner at home in order to meet clients for his deals. It wasn't easy....his wife hardly see him anymore, he is tired most of the time and at the best possible moments, the wife announced she is pregnant.
He knew he need to act fast, accumulated all the money he could grab on for his family is getting bigger. Stress beginning to take toll....the small talk he uses to have becames arguments and living in a small apt. in ampang doesn't help.
By Allah wills, he succeeds in buying a house with his own money, paid half of it and moved in on his 26th birthday. His son is 1 years old...and the business is doing okay. But harden marriages started to crack...the wife batterred him as to why he is tired and hardly helps in the house.
Being pregnant with a secong child, doesn't help either. The wife complained about the smell of cigarettes he brings home (he doesn't smoke at home), the late nite he constantly come home and all the little things in the world.
Tired and frustrated, he wrote in an email to his wife that perhaps they should separated if she thinks she will be better off with another man. The wife thought it was over and referred the case to the local pejabat kadi.
He didn't meant to divorce her but the word is his email was construed as the final nail in the coffin. He was furious with his wife for referring the case straight to pejabat kadi...things gotten out of hands.
Soon all his and her family stepped in...the in-laws accused him of using his new found wealth as a mean to chase their poor daughter out, the parent of the man told him off for being a short sighted man.
However, things resolved amicably and they soon remarried but that incidents label him for life in the eyes of the people who knew him....it nearly broke him forever...but somehow he carry on.
Second Husband
He came from a family of farmers. He understand the word hard work for he has seen it with his own eyes.
He slowly work his way through schools, getting a fairly good result in SRP and SPM for the necessary enrollment to the public universities. Having manage to secure a place in UM, he studied hard to get a good degree.
It is at this time, he was introduced a girl that was somehow highly sought after by his peers. The girl is from a different facullty but he knew he has the advantage. Slowly he captures her heart with the smallest tinniest thing...silly for most men but highly romantic for the woman.
The girl being close to her family, begans to tell story of the boy. He was that...he was this. Of course, being conveyed a constant barrage of good news...make the parents eager to meet him. In fact, he didnt disappoint them...he was all smiley, very helpful, good with small talk, the rapport was good and all set for blissful marriage.
Soon both of them graduated, the girl secured a job at a prestigous accounting firm and the boy at a local college as a tutor. They were engaged in less than six months after graduation. The boy was infact is heavily influenced by his mother. His mother was in fact the bearing in his life..
The big moments came...in a matter of week, they are going to get married. The whole family was excited because he was afterall, the ever smilling, ever helpful, son in law. However, exactly a week before the marriage itself, he called the girl to called his marriage to her..perhaps due to cold feet or perhaps influnced from his mother, nobody knows....but the girl salvaged the situation.
They got married nonetheless, rent a nice apt. in cheras and started their marriage life. Little that the girl know that the husband is a mere facade of the man she thought he is. Yes he work hard at work but he sleeps immediately after work. He always favour his mother over everything.
Things make worse when the wife got promoted faster through the ranks...she earns more than the husband. The late arrival of a child also put toll on the marriage. Being sligthly overweight, he felt out of place and out of sorts...
By Allah's will, they were given their first child after 2 years of marriage, it started off well....but as the child grows up..he felt even more out place. Being over looked for promotion, he felt even more frustrated. He started smoking in his house dur to frustration much to the frustartion of his wife. He refuse to take care of his child when his wife is late from work citing tiredness and busy with his schoolwork.
He is current doing his masters to further his fledging career but this has place a heavier burden on him. The schoolwork and chores at home make it difficult to handle. The wife arrive late from work usually at 8 pm, need to care for the children and cook for him at the same time. He is adamant that his wife cooks for him, no substitute allowed!
Finally he snapped, after a heated argument with his wife over the caring of the child, he slapped the wife so hard that blank out his wife momentarily. Blood came splurting out from the mouth as to demonstrate the power of his hands.
The child cried profusely and after the wife regained consciousness, ran away for refuge in her sister house and later when home to tell off her parents. The in law was furious as expected but discussion take place to calm things down.
Luckily, they work on their marriages and reconciliate but he stills refuse to care for the child if the wife came late from work or whenever he is free citing busy work schedules. He still smoke in the house and continue to favour his mother to the point that the wife just give up mending his ways...
The ONE MILLION DOLLAR Question??
In both of the cases, who is even more irresponsible??
Who is even more melampau??
Based on the story told, who would you sided??
Saje nak you all punya pendapat...bear in mind, that both husbands fulfill their end of their marriages in a general sense by providing a house, a car and sexually active.
First Husband
The first husband married early in life at the ripe young age of 20 years old. He didn't get a good degree but a degree nonetheless. Being married, the thought of having family is heavy on his minds albeit knowing that it is a huge financial outlay.
Economic recession slaps him in his face...he couldn't get a job..his wife was luckily enoughto be drafted by one of the local univ. He searches but with a weak degree...he couldn't get far. He has to endure countless interview without success...broke and desperate, he becomes a salesman.
With a meagre of commission, he plow away until he was given a chance to work at one small company as an executive. He started well....get connected quickly and quickly rises through the ranks. However, knowing that a plain monthly salary wouldn't cut it on its own, he becomes a broker of sorts. Getting his day work done during the day and make deals at nite for his business.
After work, he forgo dinner at home in order to meet clients for his deals. It wasn't easy....his wife hardly see him anymore, he is tired most of the time and at the best possible moments, the wife announced she is pregnant.
He knew he need to act fast, accumulated all the money he could grab on for his family is getting bigger. Stress beginning to take toll....the small talk he uses to have becames arguments and living in a small apt. in ampang doesn't help.
By Allah wills, he succeeds in buying a house with his own money, paid half of it and moved in on his 26th birthday. His son is 1 years old...and the business is doing okay. But harden marriages started to crack...the wife batterred him as to why he is tired and hardly helps in the house.
Being pregnant with a secong child, doesn't help either. The wife complained about the smell of cigarettes he brings home (he doesn't smoke at home), the late nite he constantly come home and all the little things in the world.
Tired and frustrated, he wrote in an email to his wife that perhaps they should separated if she thinks she will be better off with another man. The wife thought it was over and referred the case to the local pejabat kadi.
He didn't meant to divorce her but the word is his email was construed as the final nail in the coffin. He was furious with his wife for referring the case straight to pejabat kadi...things gotten out of hands.
Soon all his and her family stepped in...the in-laws accused him of using his new found wealth as a mean to chase their poor daughter out, the parent of the man told him off for being a short sighted man.
However, things resolved amicably and they soon remarried but that incidents label him for life in the eyes of the people who knew him....it nearly broke him forever...but somehow he carry on.
Second Husband
He came from a family of farmers. He understand the word hard work for he has seen it with his own eyes.
He slowly work his way through schools, getting a fairly good result in SRP and SPM for the necessary enrollment to the public universities. Having manage to secure a place in UM, he studied hard to get a good degree.
It is at this time, he was introduced a girl that was somehow highly sought after by his peers. The girl is from a different facullty but he knew he has the advantage. Slowly he captures her heart with the smallest tinniest thing...silly for most men but highly romantic for the woman.
The girl being close to her family, begans to tell story of the boy. He was that...he was this. Of course, being conveyed a constant barrage of good news...make the parents eager to meet him. In fact, he didnt disappoint them...he was all smiley, very helpful, good with small talk, the rapport was good and all set for blissful marriage.
Soon both of them graduated, the girl secured a job at a prestigous accounting firm and the boy at a local college as a tutor. They were engaged in less than six months after graduation. The boy was infact is heavily influenced by his mother. His mother was in fact the bearing in his life..
The big moments came...in a matter of week, they are going to get married. The whole family was excited because he was afterall, the ever smilling, ever helpful, son in law. However, exactly a week before the marriage itself, he called the girl to called his marriage to her..perhaps due to cold feet or perhaps influnced from his mother, nobody knows....but the girl salvaged the situation.
They got married nonetheless, rent a nice apt. in cheras and started their marriage life. Little that the girl know that the husband is a mere facade of the man she thought he is. Yes he work hard at work but he sleeps immediately after work. He always favour his mother over everything.
Things make worse when the wife got promoted faster through the ranks...she earns more than the husband. The late arrival of a child also put toll on the marriage. Being sligthly overweight, he felt out of place and out of sorts...
By Allah's will, they were given their first child after 2 years of marriage, it started off well....but as the child grows up..he felt even more out place. Being over looked for promotion, he felt even more frustrated. He started smoking in his house dur to frustration much to the frustartion of his wife. He refuse to take care of his child when his wife is late from work citing tiredness and busy with his schoolwork.
He is current doing his masters to further his fledging career but this has place a heavier burden on him. The schoolwork and chores at home make it difficult to handle. The wife arrive late from work usually at 8 pm, need to care for the children and cook for him at the same time. He is adamant that his wife cooks for him, no substitute allowed!
Finally he snapped, after a heated argument with his wife over the caring of the child, he slapped the wife so hard that blank out his wife momentarily. Blood came splurting out from the mouth as to demonstrate the power of his hands.
The child cried profusely and after the wife regained consciousness, ran away for refuge in her sister house and later when home to tell off her parents. The in law was furious as expected but discussion take place to calm things down.
Luckily, they work on their marriages and reconciliate but he stills refuse to care for the child if the wife came late from work or whenever he is free citing busy work schedules. He still smoke in the house and continue to favour his mother to the point that the wife just give up mending his ways...
The ONE MILLION DOLLAR Question??
In both of the cases, who is even more irresponsible??
Who is even more melampau??
Based on the story told, who would you sided??
Saje nak you all punya pendapat...bear in mind, that both husbands fulfill their end of their marriages in a general sense by providing a house, a car and sexually active.
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