Friday, March 24, 2006

A cup of coffee

A group of alumni, highly established in their careers, got together to visit their old university lecturer. Conversation soon turned into complaints about stress in work and life.
Offering his guests coffee, the lecturer went to the kitchen and returned with a large pot of coffee and an assortment of cups: porcelain, plastic, glass, some plain-looking and some expensive and exquisite, telling them to help themselves to hot coffee.
When all the students had a cup of coffee in hand, the lecturer said:
"If you noticed, all the nice-looking, expensive cups were taken up, leaving behind the plain and cheap ones."
"While it is but normal for you to want only the best for yourselves, that is the source of your problems and stress".
What all of you really wanted was coffee, not the cup, but you consciously went for the better cups and are eyeing each other's cups." "Now, if Life is coffee, then the jobs, money and position in society are the cups. They are just tools to hold and contain Life, but the quality of Life doesn't change."
Sometimes, by concentrating only on the cup, we fail to enjoy the coffee in it."
So don't let the cups drive you...enjoy the coffee instead.

The 10 Most Important Words

The most essential ten-letter word....
"CONFIDENCE"
Trust It.

The most powerful nine-letter word....
"KNOWLEGDE"
Acquire it.

The most enviable eight-letter word....
"JEALOUSY"
Distance It.

The hardest working seven-letter word....
"SUCCESS"
Achieve It.

The fastest spreading six-letter word....
"RUMOUR"
Ignore It

The most pleasing five-letter word....
"SMILE"
Keep It.

The most used four-letter word....
"LOVE"
Value It.

The most poisonous three-letter word....
"EGO"
Kill It.

The most satisfying two-letter word....
"We"
Use It.

The most selfish one-letter word....
"I"
Avoid It.

Wednesday, March 08, 2006

CUSTOMER CARE IN 2020

Operator : "Thank you for calling Pizza Hut . May I have your..."

Customer: "Heloo, can I order.."

Operator : "Can I have your multi purpose card (my Kad) number first, Sir?"

Customer: "It's eh..., hold..........on......889861356-102049998-45-54610"

Operator : "OK... you're... Mr Singh and you're calling from 17 Jalan
Kayu. Your home number is 4094! 2366, your office 76452302 and your mobile is 0142662566. And you are calling from your home now, Sir?"

Customer: "Home! How did you get all my phone numbers?

Operator : "We are connected to the system Sir"

Customer: "May I order your Seafood Pizza..."

Operator : "That's not a good idea Sir"

Customer: "How come?"

Operator : "According to your medical records, you have high blood pressure and even higher cholesterol level Sir"

Customer: "What?... What do you recommend then?"

Operator : "Try our Low Fat Hokkien Mee Pizza. You'll like it"

Customer: "How do you know for sure?"

Operator : "You borrowed a book entitled "Popular Hokkien Dishes" from the National Library last week Sir"

Customer: "OK I give up... Give me three family size ones then, how much will that cost?"

Operator : "That should be enough for your family of 10, Sir. The total is $49.99"

Customer: "Can I pay by! credit card?"

Operator : "I'm afraid you have to pay us cash, Sir. Your credit card is over the limit and you owe your bank $3,720.55 since October last year. That's not including the late payment charges on your housing loan, Sir."

Customer: "I guess I have to run to the neighbourhood ATM and withdraw some cash before your guy arrives"

Operator : "You can't Sir. Based on the records, you've reached your daily limit on machine withdrawal today"

Customer: "Never mind just send the pizzas, I'll have the cash ready. How long is it gonna take anyway?"

Operator : "About 45 minutes Sir, but if you can't wait you can always some and collect it on your motorcycle..."

Customer: " What!"

Operator : "According to the details in system ,you own a Scooter,...registration number 1123..."

Customer: " ????"

Operator : "Is there anything else Sir?"

Customer: "Nothing... by the way... aren't you giving me that 3 free bottles of cola as advertised?"

Operator : "We normally would Sir, but based on your records you're also diabetic....... "

Customer: #$$^%&$@$%^

Operator : "Better watch your language Sir. Remember on 15th July 1987 you were convicted of using abusive language on a policeman...?"

Customer: [Faints]

Wednesday, March 01, 2006

Pak Lah...

Poem i receive via email...


Kepada Pak Lah, Perdana Menteri Malaysia Boleh.......Blah

Hari nie tah hari berapa Pak Lah jadi PM kami
Memang dari dulu kami sokong sampai lani
Tapi hari nie, buka mata, senak perut anak bini
Tengok Pak Lah habag minyak naik lagi

Memang kami tak tau pasai ekonomi
Yang tau semua Pak Lah ngan kroni
Tapi sampai bila nak jadi lagu nie
Dapat gaji habis tak berbaki

Pak Lah habag tak boleh buat apa
Nie semua ekonomi dunia
Kalau tak naik nanti dunia kata apa
Habis tu yang rakyat dok menderita, tak pa ka

Dulu Pak Lah kata nak jaga rakyat
Kunun Pak lah nak kerja sama sama dengan rakyat
Nie dok nampak macam nak telan kederat
Dok nampak kami yang nak melarat

Pak Lah kata masalah rakyat nak ambik berat
Kunun tak mau tengok rakyat hidup melarat
Tapi kalau macam nie punya sarat
Darah rakyat pun boleh sejat

Kerajaan ada kata rakyat manja subsidi
Kunun asyik kerajaan saja dok bagi
Sapa kata kami rakyat tak pernah bagi
Tu...yang lima tahun sekali tu....sapa bagi??

Tiap kali naik harga, dok banding sini sana
Hampa tengok, kat Thailand lagi mahai dari kita
Apa jenis depa punya kira
Awat tak ikut pulak Brunai punya harga

Brunai tak leh kira
depa punya minyak berlambak tak terkira
Awat, minyak Malaysia tak dak harga ka?
kalau tidak, tak kan jual minyak kita beli minyak depa

Ada Petronas pun tak leh buat apa
Ada duit sikit, dah nak mengada
Pi buat segala menara pagoda kembaq dua
Nak tunjuk, kami la kaya

Petronas kata kami tak tau apa
Kerajaan yang buat kira bicara
Kami ikut apa depa kata
Royalti jadi ehsan pun kami tak leh kata apa

Kunun dok habag petronas hak rakyat semua
Pakailah minyak petronas, nanti untung dapat kat kita
Nie, nak tanya la....tiap tahun untung beribu juta
Rakyat dapat apa ????? kudis buta....

Hari nie petrol naik, tahan la lagi
Tengok pulak apa cerita esok pagi
Habis ikan, ayam, cabai sampai ke cili
depa pun sama tumbas naik sekali

Nanti ada la menteri tolong bercakap
Sapa naik harga dia nak pi tangkap
Sampai bila la dia nie nak ubah sikap
Ingat yang dok meniaga kat market tu heran kot dia punya cakap

Pak Lah mau renung nasib kami
Kais hari nie makan untuk kemarin pagi
Anak kecik pun dok ada lagi
Boleh hidup ka kami lagu nie

Dah tak larat nak tanggung cukai
Sini cukai, sana cukai
Dari tanah sampai ke pintu punya ada cukai
Dah sampai masa kot Pak Lah kena guna akai

Jangan dok ingat rakyat macam Pak Lah
Gaji berpuluh ribu hidup tak susah
Ada anak pulak bisnes sebelah sebelah
Dapat tender pun tak payah susah susah

Kami rakyat bukan macam tu
Malah la nie pun dah ada rebus siput babi dgan batu
Sedih sungguh ohhhh negara ku
Biar tak merdeka terus pun tak la kalau lagu tu

Dah sampai masa Pak Lah ingat
Selesai masalah rakyat cepat cepat
Nanti kot rakyat naik meluat
satu undi pun Pak Lah tak dapat

Cukup la sampai di sini
Tobat dah...aku tak mengundi BN kali nie
Parti Barang Naik pulak kot jadi depa lani
Kot ada sapa nak Barang Naik lagi undi la depa lagi...


Yang Benar,
Rakyat yang semakin tak larat